Is passion overrated?

I hear so much career advice that says your job needs to be your passion. After all, they say “do what you love and you’ll never have to work a day in your life.” But is this really true?? Pretty much everyone I know has tons of activities that they would rather do while they were working.

Since graduating college, I’ve worked at 4 different companies, holding 5 different jobs. For a while, I was “stuck” in an industry I wanted to get out of, but couldn’t very easily. Why not? You may ask. Well, when companies look to hire someone, they want to see relevant skills. So changing an industry is pretty hard. Entry level jobs often won’t accept someone who already has a few years of work experience because they are “over-qualified” even if they aren’t qualified for that particular job. Most people also don’t want to go down to an entry level salary so that they can pay the rent, buy groceries, etc. Hence my problem. I applied to some more entry-level jobs that I was interested in, but rarely heard back. I feel so lucky that I have finally made it to the industry I always wanted to be in, even if it’s 6 years post-grad! (wait what??)

But still, I am 100% PASSIONATE about my job? Ummm, no. I love the people I work with, I think the work/industry is interesting, and I honestly don’t mind coming into work every day. My company has a great culture, and coming from a company that did not have that, I don’t take it for granted! All in all, I feel incredibly lucky to have the job that I do. But I would not say that this job is my passion!

I will always be someone who works to live, not lives to work. And for me, personally, that’s the way it should be! The most fulfilling parts of my life are what fills the hours OUTSIDE of work– running, reading, spending time with friends and family, traveling, being outside in nature, trying new restaurants, etc. Those are the things that give my life meaning! Those are my passions!

I see so many people online encouraging people to be their own boss, take control of their lives, do what they love, etc. But I think you can also be happy doing and job you LIKE and doing things you LOVE outside of work! Don’t let the perfect be the enemy of the good here- if you like coming to work most of the time and have a salary and benefits that let you explore your passions outside of work, that sounds pretty good to me! Don’t compare yourself to the girl who quit her full-time job in order to pursue being an Instagrammer/ blogger/ influencer full-time. That may work for some people and they might be perfectly happy! But I don’t think that’s the solution for everyone.

So right now, I will be content with living for the weekends 🙂

Why is It So Hard to Eat Normally?

A firm memory sticks in my mind as I being to write this. I had recently moved in with a new roommate a few years ago. She often had to work late and one night she came home, said she was in the mood for pizza, called the local pizza place for a delivery order, and ate her dinner while we watched TV together. I had gotten home earlier, gone to the gym, and made whatever dinner I had planned for that night; taking into account getting in all my macronutrients and having a balanced plate. While she was eating dinner, I was probably having my night snack of some low calorie ice cream. I literally sat in AWE watching her eat and enjoy that pizza, watching TV with not a care in the world. It struck me so hard that she was eating NORMALLY, not thinking about health in any way. She wanted pizza for dinner, so she ordered it and ate it. After having a couple of slices and dipping them in Ranch, she put the rest of the pizza back in the fridge and had the leftovers the next night for dinner or for lunch, I can’t remember.

My roommate was in no means unhealthy. She was in great shape, worked out when she could even though it was never her number one priority, and ate what she wanted, which included pizza, pasta, fried food, etc. along with salads, veggies, and smoothies. Quite honestly, she was in better shape than me and never had to “worry about her weight.” Why couldn’t I eat the way she did, happily and with no guilt ever associated with it?

To be honest, I do not quite know the answer to that question, but I know it started early on. I can remember the day when my relationship with food changed. I guess I started becoming “curvier” in eighth grade–not large by any means, just developing and no longer weighing under 90 pounds. My clothes were a little tighter (I probably shouldn’t have been wearing children’s clothes anymore) and my mom made a comment about how I shouldn’t have a bagel with melted cheese on it (low key this used to be one of my FAVORITE foods) for a snack–that that was more of a meal, not a snack between meals. From that point on, I decided I needed to lose weight. I began weighing myself, exercising, and watching what I ate (more on all of this later). No, I did not have an eating disorder, but I was conscious of what I put into my mouth and what I was doing.

Since then, I have almost always been conscious. Yes, this has backfired, and sometimes I would turn unconscious and eat an entire box of cookies on accident. But I have been aware of food and judged it before putting it into my mouth.

In the past year or so, I have learned the importance of balance and preached it to myself and others. I know that labeling food as “good” or “bad” will only backfire on me. If I really want something sweet, I have it and try to savor every bite and be done with it. I know that eating whole foods makes me feel good and junk will make me feel tired and sluggish. I have something for dessert most nights and usually try to make healthier versions of my favorite treats. I go out to dinner with friends and family and order what sounds good to me, but make an effort to choose something that will also make my body feel good.

But I will never be that girl who can eat greasy pizza without a care in the world. Maybe it’s because I’ve done too much research and become too interested in health to just suddenly forget every health fact and indulge without thinking about it. Maybe it’s because I’m not the type of person who is naturally slim and doesn’t gain weight. When I indulge a ton, my jeans become tight and I start feeling uncomfortable.

While I believe that becoming educated about health is a good thing 99% of the time (we are only given one body after all, it is our home and it’s important to know how to treat it right!), there is that small 1% that mourns the fact that I will never be totally carefree when it comes to eating. That when I eat a cookie, I will love every bite, but there will be still be that knowledge in the back of my head knowing that tons of sugar isn’t good for me. I fight these thoughts and still enjoy treats because I know that it’s part of LIFE and I want to enjoy life, but it’s still there.

I guess I will never be able to completely eat like a normal person. But I will continue pushing to listen to my body and enjoy life!

Thoughts on Holidays & Eating

The holiday season is always a struggle for me. Not just because of temptations foodwise, but because of family and other stress. But it’s definitely difficult to stay healthy when there are constant temptations and parties. Here is my approach to the holidays in regards to staying healthy.

My biggest tip is not to completely deprive yourself. I used to go to parties and not eat ANYTHING and then would come home and break into a pint of ice cream. What?? It makes no sense, but it’s a mental thing–I realized it’s better to enjoy myself, listen to my body, and feel good instead of worrying about food and then letting it get to me when I get home. However, this is not saying to go CRAZY at parties. I personally have a very sensitive stomach, and eating too much/eating rich food will put me in a world of pain later on. So I try to treat myself a little, but be cognizant of what I’m eating. This usually means sticking to one plate of food, but getting what I think looks good and indulging a little, which for me is always having a few cookies or some chocolate (or both!) If I’m really still hungry, I’ll have more, but try to wait it out to avoid overeating.

Overeating happens sometimes. You can be enjoying yourself and you accidentally eat too much because you’re not paying attention. It happens to everyone!! So when you realize you are overly full, just stop eating and realize it’s not the end of the world. It’s not good to make a habit of overeating, but stressing will only make things worse! My tip then is just to hydrate and plan to get in a good sweat the next day. Do NOT weigh yourself the next morning!! It will only bring you down and your body will be holding onto extra water weight.

Most of all it’s important to enjoy the holidays! I know I will be drinking more than I like and eating out more/eating more in general, but I think that will just motivate me to make the off days count more. During the week, I try to really focus on eating mostly clean and getting all my workouts in and saving the treats for the weekends when I know I’ll have special events to go to. And if something comes up and I miss a workout, it’s not the end of the world.

The whole point of this post is FEELING GOOD. I don’t necessarily want to constantly overeat and feel like crap all the time, but I also don’t want to be stressing all the time. There IS a middle ground. Just because it’s the holidays doesn’t mean you should “give up” on your normal health and fitness routine, but you also shouldn’t deprive yourself!

Hope this helps a little for anyone who struggles with food stress.

Until next time, xoxo.

 

 

Admitting Failure

Like most people, I don’t like to fail or give up on something. It really takes me a LOT to say no or give up, particularly on a goal I have set for myself. As I am writing this now, I’m actually fighting the urge to cry because it is really hitting me that I won’t be accomplishing my biggest goal for this year, which was to run the Chicago marathon.

I started training for the marathon in June, and things were going okay. I was getting in all my weekday runs and even my long runs on the weekend, even though I struggle through a few. I became incredibly sick during a 15 mile run, but felt amazing and strong after 17 miles the next week (done at 8:34 pace!). I felt so confident during that run–feeling like I could really run 26.2 miles and even do it at an 8:30 pace as I had negative splits during that run.

So what happened? Honestly, looking back, it’s hard to pinpoint it, but I think all of the stress of life just got to me and wore me down. Moving 26 hours away from some of my best friends (even though I moved home) and starting a new job was WAY more stressful than I thought it would be. I don’t know why I thought the change would be seamless and I would transition without any problems. I received very little training at my new job–I am actually still figuring things out and feel uncomfortable with what I’m doing a lot of days, which is a hard feeling for me. I came home from work every day feeling down and exhausted. Those sentiments fed over into other aspects of my life as well. On the weekends, I just wanted to sleep. When I did force myself to be social and go out with friends, it was so hard to run on the next day because that had taken up all my energy. I am used to being able to do it all, so the fact that I suddenly couldn’t was unacceptable to me. Every run and workout starting feeling like a chore. I used to go to bed at night SO EXCITED to run the next morning (yes, I know, for most people this is a foreign feeling and they can’t relate), but I was dreading every run. I would choose to lie in bed and do it after work and then spend all day dreading it.

I couldn’t go on like that for too much longer–you can only force yourself to do something for so long before you break down. So I did. I actually got a slight injury from running (it probably would have healed in a week), but I just stopped running because of the pain. And I was so much happier. Yes, the injury threw a wrench in my training schedule, but I don’t think I could have continued with that training for 8 more weeks. I could feel myself getting more and more stressed out/unhappy, and I needed to focus on myself and fix whatever was going on. I started doing BBG again and making up my own workouts and enjoyed them a lot more!

So where am I now? Well, I am currently feeling more positive. Things at work are still tough, but have gotten better. I’m trying to focus on the good things about my job instead of what I don’t like (easier said than done!). I am going to the gym mostly after work and doing BBG, making up my own circuits, and doing various cardio machines at the gym– stationary bike, elliptical, and stairmaster. I am planning on starting the Tone It Up 31 day challenge tomorrow #TIU31 for something new! I’ve been on their website a lot, followed on instagram, and done different videos, but never actually done one of the challenges, so it should be fun to do something new. I also plan to get back into running because it is something that I have always loved SO MUCH. And now with the seasons changing, it will be so beautiful to run outside and I don’t want to miss it!

The Chicago Marathon is in a little over 1 week, and while I am sad to miss it, I am glad that I have focused on my health, both physical and mental. Those need to come first before any large goals. I know that I will still run a marathon at some point in my life! And this is not the end of my running career, just a little break.

If you have stuck around and read this whole post, you are my new best friend! More to come soon 🙂

Where Have I Been?!

Wow, long time, no post! The past month or so has been absolutely CRAZY. In short, I got a new job and moved from Fort Myers to Chicago! I grew up here, so it’ll be really nice being close to family and friends as well as getting to live in a big city with a million things going on at all times! Fort Myers was nice, but it was like living in a retirement community at times. Not the best atmosphere for someone in her twenties!

Even though I was so happy to be moving, the whole process was horribly stressful, as you can imagine. Figuring out all the logistics, packing up my apartment, and a weeklong road trip back up North. I’ve been back about a week and a half and have been working! It definitely helps me be in a routine. I’m also proud that I’ve stayed on track with marathon training, even though it was definitely challenging while we were on the road. Not every run/workout was ideal, but I got them in, so I have to be proud of myself for that. I kept constantly reminding myself of the quote, “Be stubborn about your goals and flexible about your methods.” Not everything will always go to plan, so you just have to adapt to whatever situation you’re in!

The next few months will definitely be full of transitions and adjustments. Sometimes I freak out in those times. Having a strict routine helps me, but I know that it’s not always healthy. I’m really going to focus on embracing this time and see it as full of opportunities, not challenges. Mindset is SO important, so I really think if I face everything with positivity, it will get me far. More to come on how that works out 🙂

As I continue marathon training, I’m also catching up with a lot of friends and spending time in the city. It’s such a fun time and I need to make the most of the rest of the summer, since it’s going to be Fall before we know it! Also going to try to post a lot more regularly so stay tuned! 😉

 

Embrace Your Emotions

People who are not close to me may not realize it, but I am a very emotional person. I cry during songs, movies, commercials, you name it. I feel things very deeply and intensely, and honestly, sometimes irrationally. Today I thought to myself, “I hate being emotional,” and then I thought, wow, yes, emotions are hard and sometimes suck, but what would be the point of life without them? It would be nice to not have the urge to cry each time I get sad, frustrated, overwhelmed, or scared, but wouldn’t it be much worse to be a robot?

I’m going to be honest; I do not handle disappointment well. Today, I had planned all day to go to spin class after work. I get there and it’s insanely crowded, but I change and go to grab a bike and they are ALL GONE. Not a single bike was left. So I’m standing there like an idiot, all ready for spin class, but I literally can’t go because there are no bikes left (I don’t go to the nicest gym, it’s just a work gym). So I’m incredibly disappointed, I rushed out of work early, and all for nothing, but what can I do? The only shoes I had with me were my spin shoes, so I couldn’t even do anything else. I had already run 6 miles this morning, so it’s not like I missed a workout, but I still felt to incredibly let down. I kept it together, changed, and drove home, but the whole way home I just wanted to cry. I NEEDED those endorphins, spin makes me so happy and it’s an amazing way to release stress. But I kept telling myself, “come ON, you cannot cry over a spin class, get over it.” But for some reason, whenever I get the teensiest bit upset over something, everything else that I’m fighting and get upset about is brought to the front of my mind, so I’m suddenly dealing with all of my problems at once. But it’s set off by something SO SMALL.

I’m really trying to focus on dealing with my problems in a better way, and that’s what inspired me to write this. I feel like I can’t be the only one who loses control of their emotions so easily and needs to check themselves. This might seem like it doesn’t have anything to do with health/fitness, but for me, it does. I’m an emotional eater, something I am working on and dealing with, but I think mental/emotional health is SUCH an important part of the whole health equation! It totally affects physical health, and you can’t be really healthy if you are extremely mentally unhealthy. It’s taken me a long time, but I’ve learned that you have to deal with your feelings and allow yourself to actually FEEL them or else they all come crashing down. I’m definitely not there yet, but just realizing the work that I still need to do is HUGE for me. No more running away. Embrace those emotions–it will only make you a stronger person and able to connect with people more.

This is one of my favorite quotes. When you feel something, feel it all the way. Let yourself get excited, even if other people think it’s stupid! Lukewarm really is no good–be ALL there, don’t tone things down if you really feel them.

Hopefully one person out there connects with this message. As annoying as it can seem to be emotional, I really do believe it is a good thing ❤